GUNDE KEBAB

Even since I landed in the campus the brake shoes of my life lost its grips. Every day the urge of an extra CV point surges the speed. For a change I decided to take a power break in the form of a city visit.
Me and my neighbor, the humble soul from Uttaranchal, decided to visit Hazratganj. Soon after the classes were over we boarded the UPSRTC bus. I was absolutely shocked to see the digital display showing ‘ORDINARY FARE’ time and again instead of the destination. This is how India works. As the bus crossed the IIML gate it turned into a school bus. The KV boys and girls filled every square inch of the bus. Soon we reached IET, then Hazratganj.
This is one of the better looking places in Lucknow. We started roaming aimlessly. Then suddenly I decided to buy speakers. We went to the ‘Naza Market’, the computer peripherals wholesale market. After a bit of Market Research and bargaining we were tired. Only Tunde Kebab could have re-energized us. We proceeded towards Aminabad.
Soon we were in front of the famous shop ‘Tunde Kebab’, the birth place of this unique variety of kebab. It is so named because it was first prepared by a one armed chef. We didn’t waste our time exploring the history and took our seats inside the dingy restaurant. Our orders came in no time. I was shocked to find that ‘Tunde Kebab’ was basically scoops of mashed mutton. It was definitely different. But it is safe to hold back the tongue in defining its delicacy. This form of kebab can be readily consumed with least effort. It involves no exercised of your gums, you just need to swallow the stuff. ‘Tunde Kebab’ is generally accompanied with roti or paratha. I tried enjoying the food, so do my friend. Soon after finishing the kebabs we returned to Hazratganj. I didn’t explored different shops looking for speakers as I was already feeling pinches in my stomach. The speakers were bought instantly and soon we were on our way back to the campus. This time the pain in my stomach was sharp. And then it became difficult as we reached Aliganj. Bumper and potholes were like punches in my stomach. Though my stomach was well protected with multiple layers of lipid, still it was difficult for me to bear this shock treatment. My immune system which was already weakened by eating Mess Food was no match for the ‘Tunde Kebab’. It has caused catastrophe, making my entire body numb. My silent friend became active and ordered the auto driver to increase the throttle. I thanked Mayawati for timely repair of the Sitapur road, the pot holes and bumpers were much lesser now. We reached our campus, and then the auto swayed to the Hostel.
Now I am lying down waiting for my altered body clock to induce sleep at 4AM. ‘Tunde’ has destroyed my Sunday, so ‘Tunde’ is GUNDE for me.

Some things cannot be found, for others we have SONU SINGH

The Indian Institute of Management, Lucknow is located 22 km from railway station and 35 km form airport. But these numeric figures are least important for day to day life inside the campus, all because of Sonu Singh.
Sonu Singh, the plum sardar, has a stationary shop inside the campus. It’s located in the ‘Market Complex’ inside the campus. The term ‘Complex’ is a management lingo and should not be confused with its literal meaning. The set of 5 shops inside the campus is in no way complex or confusing. Sonu Singh is the nerve center of the complex. With a huge 100L cooler in front Sonu Singh rules the place. He is the instant solution for all day to day stationeries. Right from registers to sports gears he has everything. His stock reaches beyond the obvious items to beauty products like moisturizers, sun screen lotion, body shampoo and face wash. The sports freaks can get badminton racquets, swimming glasses, shuttles, tennis balls and even spikes. Niche items like broom and lan-cables are also available. In short one cannot go back empty handed from Sonu Singh.
After spending a couple of weeks in the campus, I realized that PGP Office can consider of including ‘Sonu Singh Enterprise’ as a case study in the curriculum. His sense of business, his acumen, his customer relationship, his inventory maintenance makes it a perfect case study material. His crowd pulling strategy of implanting a huge cooler, his ‘smile and deliver’ mechanism are some marketing moves and his on-demand order delivery system are some of the few points can be pondered.
But its whether he is added to the curriculum or not, his varied stock of goods definitely makes him the GOOGLE of our campus.

First Week at IIML

37 AIMCATs, 16 GDPI sessions and numerous hours of AIMCAT analysis fetched me IIM calls. Odds were high, but I guess the planetary positions favored me and I converted IIM L. I immediately resigned from my cozy job and booked tickets to Lucknow. A new life was waiting for me.

The day I reached Lucknow the thermometer reading showed 44°C. I quickly checked the news paper, but as usual the weather forecast had nothing to pacify. I boarded a cab for the campus which was only 33km from Airport. As I entered the gates I was shocked to find two legendary gentlemen, one from history and the other from mythology moving in exactly opposite directions. I didn’t bother much and went to office of ‘Student Affairs’ (the name sounds funny) where the hostels were allotted. My room was arranged in no time all because of Sonu Singh. I was all set for the induction program tomorrow.

A thin but threatening PGP manual was handed to us as we entered ‘Bodhigraha’. I wondered why this simple academic block bears such a cryptic name. The session started with a pledge followed by series of Alumni sessions. The sessions became more and more soporific as time rolled. But surprisingly some students always have some question or the other. I wonder how they lead a life with so much ambiguity. Perhaps these were the people who grow up to become lethal DCPs. The session came to an end with an announcement from PGP2 about the night session. I could almost feel ‘Hell Devi’ whispering in my hears ‘WELCOME TO HELL’.

The night sessions were grueling. We were made to write SOP at 11.30 at night. Even the slightest of odd movement qualified us for a DISCO, which starts around 2AM every day. We were assigned groups and odd offbeat topics for presentation. Even a 24 pages case study was mailed to us with the strictest of deadlines for submission. I quickly added the word ‘sacrosanct’ to my vocabulary as it was spelled numerous time to make us aware of the deadlines. Even a 45 minutes ‘Mahabharath’ clip was projected to us as a case study. It was funny to see people fighting with each other to prove King Santanu’s lust at the age of 60 was justified. The presentations and role plays became comedy circus. The slides that we mailed as a part of our assignment were changed by some supernatural power. In some cases the presenters were taken by surprise to find that even the topic title has changed. This resulted in series of bashing from some of the most outspoken seniors. We were preys. Then came the Finance, marketing and QUAM sessions. At 2.30 night we were given fundas about Finance. It was pity to see some of the best brains in the country looking helplessly to the blackboard not understanding a bit. The lecture sessions were followed by a test the next day. The answer sheet looked all white. We reached the ‘Critical Frustration Point’ when at 2AM an announcement came that there would be a marathon at 6AM, and before that we had a series of tasks to complete. The sleep deprived eyes were giving up. It was impossible to hold back. We were on the verge of collapse.

The third day we were called a bit early. I was surprised to find some ever frowning seniors looking happy. I wondered if a mass PPO was offered. Then came the surprise as it was unveiled that the sessions were preplanned, a part of IIM L legacy. None of the assignments were evaluated and no actions would be taken against any one. A perfect example of organised crime. This was followed by an announcement of the ‘insti party’ the same night. Every one of us (except the few who had prior knowledge of the legacy) was relieved. The party was a much needed one. All of a sudden every senior became friendly. The party was a hit and everybody enjoyed thus setting a perfect launching pad for the 2 years ahead.